doorhangin'

so lately i have been spending a lot of time moving the better part of a 5000 doorhangers for the biznass from their comfy home in a box next to my bed, to various doors around the midvale/sandy/murray area. yah, you read that right, five thousand doorhangers. just me and kid (ok so sometimes mi familia helps) going door-to-door the old fashioned way.

why would i think you, my loyal reader, would care about this? well, you probably won't, but i have made the following list nonetheless:

doorhangin': what you need to know

• dirrrty: most people have really, really dirty doors. like it's pretty ridiculous. here's an idea: if you spill diet coke down your front door in a series of unfortunate accidents, maybe you should wipe it off instead of letting it fester for the better part of a decade. my solution? baby wipes! they really are great door cleaners and your door will smell like a baby's bum, so it's pretty much a win-win-win. yep, that's a free cleaning tip! thanks, obama!
• soliciting, shmiliciting: there's as many varieties of "no soliciting" signs as there are ugly doormats (which there is an amazing amount of, friends). pre-made sign? check. self-cut vinyl letters applied at an angle? check. a 'no soliciting' sign written in 10 pt. font? check. but my personal favorite comes from a house in midvale, ut. i would have taken a picture if it wasn't infinitely creepy to take pictures of peoples front windows. it read "Attention Solicitors: I am nine months pregnant and unless you are selling something that will make child birth easier, don't knock on my door." that, my friends, is a win!
• cigs: people can get pretty creative about how to store those used cigarette butts; none of them are good.
• beware of dog: i'd estimate that if a person sports a ceramic dog on their front porch, there is about a 99% chance they own a dog.
• meanies: i've also learned that if you convince your sis-in-law kare-kare to come and help take around a doorhanger or two, and then give her a 10 minute pep talk about how no one's ever been mean to you about placing a doorhanger on their door, the fourth door she approaches will indeed have a meanie there who says, rudely "why would I want this crap!"....hahahahahah. that's still making me laugh. sorry kare-kare.

welp, there you have it. an entire post about doorhangers!